Celebrating Pride: Importance of Allyship

Pride Month is celebrated every year to recognize the impact LGBTQIA+ individuals have had on history, specifically in the month of June to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. Throughout the years I’ve attended Gay Pride events, not as member of the community myself, but as an ally. As a sister, cousin, friend and colleague to those who proudly identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, allyship has always been important to me. As our schools, workplaces and government becomes more accepting, we all have an opportunity to support this marginalized community by becoming better allies.

• Be Curious.  When it comes to the LGBTQIA+ community there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach. There are currently over 100 terms to describe sexuality and gender identities. As this continues to evolve, being educated and more importantly being curious is an important step to being a better ally.  You don’t have to fully understand all aspects. You can ask questions in a respectful manner and appreciate the diversity of everyone’s experience. Mainstream media has done a great job amplifying LGBTQIA+ voices and telling their stories. Here are some recommended resources to help you tap into your curiosity:

LGBTQIA+ on Netflix – The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson , Disclosure, Coming Out Colton, A Secret Love

LGBTQIA+ Books: Untamed, How We Fight For Our Lives, Middlesex, Love Makes a Family

• Don’t Assume. I can recall being at a work happy hour where many of us were meeting up in person for the first time with our fellow remote colleagues. One coworker, a young Latina woman was sharing about her recent wedding and moving into a new place. One coworker jumped in “Where did you and your husband move?”, the young woman interjected, “ Me and my WIFE..” She was polite and the coworker who made that assumption was clearly embarrassed. This is a perfect example of how our unconscious bias show up in the workplace. There was an assumption made, perhaps because she didn’t “look gay” to him or because he’s just never been around enough same sex couples to know how to use more inclusive language. Either way, we must remember that individuals who identify as LGBTQIA+ do not have a “look.” To be a better ally, when you interact with strangers or coworkers you know little about, assume nothing, listen, observe and always focus on using inclusive language. Some examples could be: “Where did the two of you move?” , “What does your spouse do for a living”. Allow people, if they desire, the opportunity to share any clarifications of their sexuality or gender before you make an assumption.

I’ve also seen this play out with miscommunication in email as it relates to pronoun use and misgendering. While someone may have a name that could be associated with a specific gender, or maybe to you they even “sound” and “look” like a man, does not mean they identify as HE/HIM. I recall once a candidate shared with me feedback after an interview: “Hey, the interview went well but it was a bit awkward because they referred to me as he/him and my pronouns are she/her.” Ultimately, we discovered that the recruiter made an assumption that the individual identified as HE/HIM and communicated that to the client when setting up the interview. I was so glad this candidate spoke up, which allowed us to communicate this back to the client to prevent further awkwardness as the opportunity moved forward. As a best practice, in email, always make a point of referring to people by their name or they/them. Many people are now sharing their pronouns in email signatures and on LinkedIn as well. These misunderstandings will happen and as we are all learning and growing, these incidents become great teachable moments to allow us to do better the next time until inclusiveness becomes second nature.

• Be A Safe Space If you are at work or around the dinner table and you hear anti-LGBTQIA+ comments or jokes, don’t miss the opportunity to speak up and call it out as wrong. Ask yourself: Does my social media activity create a safe space for this community? Did I let that joke slide because I was afraid to say something to my boss, even though I know my colleague is part of the LGBTQIA+ community?  If you are in a workplace and feel uncomfortable addressing directly, connect with your Human Resources team and allow them to handle the issue. Change happens when we speak up and hold others accountable.

You can also proudly show your support so that those in the community know you are an ally and can be their authentic self around you. For some this could be hanging a rainbow flag outside your office, adding your pronouns in your email signature or integrating more inclusive language into your everyday conversations. At JeffreyM, we believe our differences make us better. Together, we are committed to creating a diverse, inclusive, and safe environment that allows employees to do their best work, and clients to achieve their best results. Here are a shortlist of resources to education, inform and inspire you in celebrating Pride Month beyond June:

How To Be a Better Ally: https://www.hrc.org/resources/being-an-lgbtq-ally

LGBTQIA+ Businesses To Support

Food & Beverage –  Pip Snacks, Couplet Coffee, CoolHaus Ice Cream, Future Gin

Lifestyle & Fashion – Dr. Botanicals, Wildfang , Malin + Goetz, Lockwood, TomboyX, Fable

Shop Pride Apparel at Target – https://www.target.com/c/pride/-/N-5589f

LGBTQIA+ Events: 2022 Global Gay Pride Calendar and Pride Organizations to support